As of late I've been depending on you to such a degree that left alone this weekend, I'm starting to see fairly clearly what a stress I can be - what that kind of counting on can be like. Once upon a time I knew the feeling exactly. Somewhere it just must've slipped my mind.

And though I'm so dependent in so many ways, my limited mobility has reminded me what independence and freedom of movement can do for you. I have to keep moving, counting time spent on chores. 20 minutes to clean the living room. 5 minutes to vacuum the carpet. 15 minutes to wash dishes. These become hash marks in my days, but never quite do the trick. Relegated to a few tens of square feet, I start to shut down and wait for days to pass and things to heal - watching the clock all along.