You're at your best when you give up and fold. Not when you concede, but when you melt and relax; when the corners of your eyes stay bright and upturned. Humility truly suits you. It's blinding and makes you more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

I'm at my best when I'm given a pinky ring promise or the slightest indication that I'm not quicksand. I'm top cat when I'm leaned on, when I know I'm needed. I'm even better when I know I'm wanted and not being humored (I'd rather be alone than be humored).

Today I realized that these two halves are neither separate nor at odds, but they need coordination. I want to give and give and give, but I need to know that at the end of the dark, there's something. I need to know that the looks, the nicknames, the collapses and cuddles are still there somewhere. Are they there? What roles do I fill? I'm acutely aware of those I don't. The further off they seem, the further away I slip.