Even if it's not my life. Even if it's not my business. I spent every second of my day aware of where you were and what was happening. I kept wondering how you were feeling, what you were thinking (like usual). It was as if I lived through two days today. The first, the visible, the day that included some painting, some lunch, a walk to the bank. The second, that endless list of questions. A day of failed concentration and constant fidgeting. The day that no one else ever knew. The day that left me unsure about writing this at all. The "I" that I accidentally left hanging after I deleted "wish I was there with you."