Dear Mom,

� � � � I never thought that I inherited anything from you but intense emotions and insomnia. All the time I'm realizing that somehow your life of evidence gathering has found some place in me. I'd like to chalk this all up to your years of professional experience, but it's just as likely that my ability to case any room with my eyes and collect data is a result of yours and Dad's secrecy regarding hidden plastic-bottle vodka and wet-rattling Coors Light cans. Either way, I'll forever be underestimated.

Sincerely,
Your Son