it's the same routine every time. I call and hear my mom rattling the phone off its hook and fumbling to disarm the answering machine. She was probably sleeping on the couch or laying awake watching Headline News. She never sleeps. She says I've got it, honey? My dad, with two o'clock a.m. hands, wrestles with the handset next to the bed. It crackles and he says what's up bud? At this point in every call I'm flush with guilt because my mother knows that this is her cue to hang up. She's sure that Dad is better equipped to give advice and she's probably right.