Other than last night and the outburst of pleas and pitifulness and sobs - other than that I tried to do it your way to the best of my ability. I literally put us to bed and woke up with only a whimper of my wishes. I didn't cry to you. In fact, I said barely anything other than the necessary words to get you packed and loaded and on your plane. There was no final conversation. There was no final touch of your skin against mine. There was hardly a final kiss. You hadn't an arm around me before seeing me for a last few seconds. We were all business and today I feel worse than ever.